Monday, July 18, 2011

Frustrating Summer

I, like many, look forward all winter to the coming of spring and inevitably, summer. I love summer!

Well, in theory...

I love the green grass, the blue skies, the brightly coloured flowers, the golden canola fields, the time to spend outside gardening, going to the beach, camping, road tripping...etc.

But, when summer actually gets here, I am confined to the house for the most part. My allergies are so bad. I look like crap all summer cuz my face is all swollen and I can't wear make-up. My skin is itchy from the pollen and hay dust in the air. My sinuses run all summer, as if I have a perpetual cold. I get sinus headaches. My eyes itch and hurt. I barely get any sleep because of all this. And can you imagine being a nice person to be around when you are in a constant state of irritation and exhaustion?

And to top that all off, people, who supposedly know me, just say "well, why can't you just take something for it"... oh wow, what a good idea, as if I've never ever thought of taking an over-the-counter antihistamine for this. I've been to three different specialists, I've tried prescription allergy medications that just made me sicker, I've had to live with this for 15 years. I've lost my connection with the majority of the things that used to bring me great joy - horse riding, camping, spending time outdoors. Yeah, my pain is trivial and I should just "take something for it" and get on with my life.

These are some photos I took last night when I went for a drive by myself. I thought I'd drive around the countryside just near our place and take a few photos to use as references for my next paintings. I figured, if it was just a half-hour or so and I was mostly just in the car, it wouldn't bother me so much. Wrong. I paid for this little drive last night. I spent almost the entire night awake. I went through half a kleenex box, spent a lot of time with a cold pack on my face, and had a hard time trying to fall asleep with shortness of breath. This summer, though, has been a particularly bad one for allergens.

It really frustrates me that once mid-June hits, I can't spend much time outside until October without paying dearly for it with physical pain. I don't like winter, but perhaps I need to start liking it, since summer is pretty much out of the question until they find an actual cure for chronic allergies. I feel so guilty for not being able to take my kids out to the beach, and camping, and even just to the playground for very long or very often. They are at the age where they still need my supervision when outside, and I just can't be out there to give it. Hopefully, in another summer or two, Alysha and Jayden can spend more of their summers outside in our yard flying solo. I want them to be outside enjoying the sun, but I don't think it is a fair trade for a grumpy mother who feels the need to tear her own face off.

Hopefully my rant hasn't gotten you down, though, and that these photos are enjoyable!!! For those of you who can get out there this summer, without constant sinus pain and itchy eyes/skin, take some serious advantage of every nice day, you have no idea how lucky you are!!


NickelNook said...

Aww Sara! I'm so sorry for the pain you're suffering! Interesting timing as I just posted a little about pain. Please just ignore those who don't understand what you're going through...their ignorance really needn't concern you! I too have people with quick and simple "cures"! lol
As for your kids...who says loving childhood memories have to be made outdoors? You're there for them and that's what matters! And yes, happy is much better than grumpy! lol
You hang in there Sweetie! There are better days ahead! Oh, btw...your photos are gorgeous!...Nancy :o)

Leslee said...

Thanks for visiting my blog.
I am sorry to hear you suffer so with summer allergies. I know they are terribly bad this year. I am just south of you. I thought I was suffering, but nothing compared to you.
You can find lots of fun inside activities to do with your kids.
And I love your photos too.
Oct. is just around the corner.
Leslee in MT